A Word About Fisticuffs

As many of you are aware, as a writer and artist I feel it is my duty - expanding my creative reference base - to watch human beings and to see how they do things; how they behave.

As a supply teacher I often see children at their best and worst, lighting up a room with sharp insight or witty repartee; or lighting up a cigarette in the room and then trying to weasle out of it by telling me they can't smell smoke when their hand is on fire. (True story. Had it happen. Wish I'd got pictures.)

I can understand people fighting over many many things: religion, race, territory, the hot redhead at the bar, etc etc. These are all pretty primal, human urges.

I'm not much into violence, though as several of the LARPers noted during my experimental stint in LURPS at uni, I swing a pretty mean latex-and-foam-rubber-coated blade. I'm a thinker, a talker. I'm sure I'm supposed to add "a lover" to that, but I can't think where that reference has popped into my head from. Of course, even I have been prone to such primal savagery: after my breakdown I was very much into smacking inanimate objects with my fists in order to make myself feel better.

In Chicago's this evening there was a fight. It was quite a big one actually. I missed what started it, but it was the kind of fight where two people argue, one pushes the other, the other stumbles into someone who turns round and joins in, pushing back, and it just escalates from there.

I didn't get involved, but sadly I was stood very close. Close enough, in fact, to get an elbow in the small of my back as somebody flew my way. Unsurprisingly this hurt like hell. Not just because I'd been elbowed, hard, but of course as Sod's Law would have it, they managed to catch me right at the place where my back is screwed up.

I spent the rest of the evening probably looking very sullen and angry and irritated, which is how I always look when I'm trying to disguise the fact my back hurts like hell. Even now, sitting down 3 hours or so later, its still twinging away and it pisses me off.

What the hell was so important that two people felt the need to fight over in a bar on a saturday night out? A spilt drink? Accidentally treading on someone's foot? What ludicrously petty thing could possibly have sparked such a fracas? Whatever happened to just going out and relaxing and unwinding, listening to some music, having a dance?

I mean sure, I can sit on my high horse and tell people that they should probably drink less and have more fun, especially in light of seeing how drink can be pretty destructive to people you care about, but I need to drink less myself so I'm probably a big hypocrit either way.

Tangental blog much?!

So yes, fighting. I don't like it. I've had a year 7 kid try and beat me up - did I write a blog about that one a while back? Might have done! - and that was laughable. I've seen kids of all ages try and beat each other up for fun! And I've seen grown men of thirty or so hitting each other in the face in a bar for something like knocking someone's drink over.

I mean yeah, having someone spill Stella down your shirt is annoying as hell - especially if, like me, the smell of the stuff makes you wanna stick lit matches up your nostrils - but is that really any reason to give someone a black eye?! Whatever happened to a gentlemanly "Sorry mate, lemme buy you a drink to make up for it?"

Or am I just living in my own little fantasy world?

Errr.... ignore the part of me that's, y'know, a fantasy writer, when thinking about answering that question...

~On Reading...~

That's the verb "reading", not the proper noun "Reading", just so we're clear.

I read a fair bit. I have a huge number of books on my shelves, mainly because our local library never used to have the kinds of books I was into as a kid, and I can't really say I've diversified my reading habits since then either. I wanted to insert a picture here of our hallway bookshelves, full to the brim with all manner of books, but since we're having the house rewired in a couple of months, we've already started taking the books down and boxing them up, which I must admit makes those big shelves look more than a little weird.

I did, however, at least get a picture of my main "bedside reading" shelf. Let's take a closer look at this huge stack o' "literature" and see what we've got:





SHELF ONE

Okay, I'll admit it. The top row of my bedside shelf has no actual reading books on it at all. In fact, its chock-packed with a variety of RPG rulebooks, mostly D&D-related. There are a variety of d20 campaign settings up there, from Arthaus' "Ravenloft" to "Dragonstar" and the "World of Warcraft RPG". There are also some "Big Eyes Small Mouth" books, as well as strategy guides for FFX and FFX-2 ('cos I'm a lazy completist). Tucked just off shot on the top row is a copy of Jim Butcher's "Welcome to the Jungle", my only actual graphic novel, and a copy of the 2009/10 "Writer's Market" which has half a dozen page corners turned to mark agencies that may hopefully represent a fantasy writer based on who else they have on their rolls.


SHELF TWO

Shelf two holds, first and foremost, my Dresden Files paperbacks. As I am impatient, the last two I've bought in hardcover (see shelf four) and thus they do not fit on the shelf. Missing is book 1 of the series ('cos Spence borrowed it) and book 4 (because it is by my computer as reference). These are the kind of books I read over and over again.

Next to them is Brent Weeks' "Night Angel" trilogy, which is probably the most epic trilogy I've ever read (yes, beating Lord of the Rings). I've only read this once (though I've read the last 5 chapters of "Beyond the Shadows" about 5 times now - they're just THAT good!) but I plan on reading them again over summmer.

Also on here is the three Greyhawk "Justicar" novels by Paul Kidd, which make me laugh a lot, "Orcs" (with its Waterstones receipt bookmark reminding me I've still not got very far with it), Greg Maguire's "Wicked" and "Son of a Witch", some Pratchet, my fat-assed copy of "Order of the Phoenix", as well as a whole row of books BEHIND this front line.


SHELF THREE

Now we're getting to the stuff that I either haven't read, haven't read much, or just ran out of space to organise properly. Most of the left pile is Eddings and Gemmell, two writers whose fantasy stuff I've never really gotten into, as well as Ed Greenwood's "Elminster in Hell", which was...okay...I guess...

Next we have Taylor's "Wormwood" which I only got the other day and haven't read yet, as well as Nix's "Abhorsen" trilogy, which remains one of my favourite fantasy series, and another trilogy I plan on rereading over the holiday. There's also a couple of Harry Potters on here, as well as some Dragonlance and Magic: The Gathering novels (which are much cheaper and less addictive than the trading card game). Oh and yes, that IS a copy of "Warlock of Firetop Mountain"... classic!


SHELF FOUR

A delightful mix of stuff on here. First of note is the white paperbook copy of Lord of the Rings peeking out from behind the front pile. I used to read this every single year, but I stopped when I realised that the "Fellowship of the Ring" is mostly dull and boring. To the left of that are the three volumes of LotR individually bound. Not sure why I have both sets.

You can also see the happy dayglow Harry Potters back there, as well as the original Star Wars manga (which cost me about £50 but was well worth it).

Also on there is a copy of Stephen King's "On Writing" which is a very enjoyable read for any prospective author, as well as a variety of Planescape, Warcraft and Forgotten Realms novels (almost all of which have atrocious cover art).

Colin Forbe's "Blood Storm" is decent, plotwise, but very dull reading stylistically (thus I'm only 1/3 through that). Jim Butcher's "Turn Coat" and "Small Favour" are both excellent excellent reads and are only lying on this shelf because I couldn't fit them anywhere else. I *still* haven't read Gormenghast because I suck. I must must must read it.


SHELF FIVE

Okay, so these aren't books. This bottom double-shelf of cubbies is where I keep CDs and old PSX and GBA games. You can just make out a variety of titles, including the awesome "Pocket Fighter" for the PSX, and "Super Ghouls and Ghosts" for the GBA. There's also some pretty bad soundtracks and albums on that shelf. Some of them are Pokémon-related. Don't ask.


WHAT'S MISSING?

Well, there are two or three books/anthologies that I keep at hand which simply don't fit onto the shelf. The centenary edition of Robert E. Howard's "Conan" stories is one of them, as are the books I'm currently working my way through, which include Grant/Naylor's "Red Dwarf", Max Books' "World War Z" (yes, I know I've had this a year of so, I'm slack!) and Jonathan Kellerman's "Therapy".


WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Well I don't know. It's possible you may just frown at me and say "oh my god, what a geek!" or "This guy calls himself an English teacher when he reads this stuff?! It isn't REAL fiction!" or you may possibly applaud my taste but keep it to yourself for fear that somebody else hears you mention you actually *read* -- because as the kids at Pensnett tell me, we don't need to read anymore because we have films and TV..... ~_~; -- and you don't want to be seen as abnormal.

Anyway, that's a little insight into the Library of Jonathan M Burrage, MA. Hope you've found it vaguely enlightening. ^__^